`Newsgroups: alt.nettime`

	previous	workgroup	thread	next

Subject: <nettime> [FWD] towards a europanto: a five-year plan From: t byfield <hieronym@basis.Desk.nl> Date: 2 Mar 1998 23:38:56 +0100 * * * * * Sender: owner-nettime-l@basis.Desk.nl Precedence: bulk The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt ENGLISH as the preferred language for European communications, rather than GERMAN, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English had some room for improvement, and has accepted a five- year phased-in plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). in the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k", not only will this klear up any konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful, and that would go. By the fourth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou"' and similar changes vud of kors be be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis, and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozr. Ze drem vil finali kum tru. !!! -- "...curse you, Byfield....Nurse! Time for my bong hit..." --- # distributed via nettime-l : no commercial use without permission # <nettime> is a closed moderated mailinglist for net criticism, # collaborative text filtering and cultural politics of the nets # more info: majordomo@icf.de and "info nettime" in the msg body # URL: http://www.desk.nl/~nettime/ contact: nettime-owner@icf.de