[This is an extract of The Revolution®, a party policy paper in two parts, to be found at: http://www.disinfo.com]

We're stuck, you and I. We would just as soon be out on the beach with a fine wine, some Nietzsche, and a drum'n'bass deconstruction of 'Exile On Main Street' tuning in to eternal questions regarding life, mortality, sexuality and so forth. But we live in a world of politics (sometimes called economics) from which there is no escape, no permanent autonomous zone. And so we must use politics to end politics.

Thus, I am starting a political party for those of us who would really rather not. How gauche, you say. And I agree. Politics is terribly unfashionable and tacky. It is with great embarrassment that I embark on this endeavor. But consider this: public embarrassment is to cyberspace what skydiving is to the jaded middle class... or something like that. Let us begin...

PART ONE: The Post-Modern Social Contract

Whereas Your Name Here, although a conceptually-rugged individualist, seeks some small degree of protection from a rampaging police state, excessive multinational corporate domination, poverty, endless litigation and legalities, and even ideologically pure libertarians and anarchists, and testifying that I - of my own free will and not currently under the influence of bad drugs from untrustworthy sources - have chosen to make known my philosophic agreement with 'The Post-Modern Social Contract' as laid forth in the rest of this document. This 21st Century social contract shuns ideologies, even nihilism, and instead operates under a basic premise that their are a few simple, loosely-held principles that maybe humans would do well to follow if they wish - as we the undersigned sometimes do - to survive and thrive on this planet, pending other travel arrangements.

This contract further commits Your Name Here to some nominal effort, perhaps but not necessarily expended on Sunday evenings after 'The Simpsons,' 'King of the Hill,' and 'X -Files' on Fox, on behalf of the fulfillment of this Post-Modern Contract, which we the undersigned will achieve through some sort of heuristic process that engages all possible forms of intelligence, analyses, hysteria, artistry, salesmanship, tenacity, whoring, campaigning, drinking, shiatsu massage, cross-dressing, musicianship, occult rituals, conspiring, gourmet cooking, slimy media productions appealing to the lowest common denominator, or any form chosen by Your Name Here, as a contribution to The Revolution®, the 'Political Party' that shall represent the Post-Modern Social Contract in the sadly-banal-yet-somehow-challenging world of Machiavellian realpolitik in the 21st Century. (The 20th Century is conceived here as having already ended with the death of Sinatra.)

The Post-Modern Social Contract agrees, in essence, that 21st Century Government (which must exist until such times as all humans are wealthy and secure enough to be completely self-governing), as a representative of both the democratic will of the people and a guarantor of maximum liberty for the individual, should seek to do 'good' things that help make it possible for individuals to live as well as they might before they go altogether whilst not doing 'bad' things that strip individuals of personal freedoms or that unfairly advantage the a-human structures known primarily as multinational corporations, which currently own the so-called democratic process. We the undersigned acknowledge that this is a crazy, bizarre and obscure notion and that the mainline political discourse, as well as most alternative political discourse presumes instead a debate between those who say that there is Too Much Government (argument taken to new heights of hypocrisy by the 'Republican Revolution') and those who, like Democratic Senators Waxman and Lieberman, seek to legislate everything right down to making sure I don't stand up in my tub, fall over, and hurt my head.

In its place, the Post-Modern Social Contract suggests an heuristic movement towards achieving many of the goals associated with Liberalism and Libertarianism while evading and avoiding the politically correct absolutes associated with these tendencies.
It is therefore agreed by Your Name Here, signee of The Post-Modern Social Contract, that an advanced high technological social system will lift all persons above impoverishment unconditionally while at the same time seeking to guarantee the least possible intervention of Government in the lives of individuals, even their economic lives. Your Name Here further agrees that those who say that better social well-being and more individual freedom are incompatible shall from this point on be referred to as 'Yee Of Little Imagination,' and I shall challenge Yee of Little Imagination to look past his or her nose, except when I really don't feel like it or I'm otherwise preoccupied trying to score for sex, or if Yee is armed or awfully huge and aggressive.

Finally, Your Name Here agrees to examine R.U. Sirius' initial proposed 15 Point Plan offering a new national political agenda for the USA and after overcoming my shock that this is awfully serious and almost pragmatic, and with the additional understanding that all points are vastly oversimplified and R.U. has probably already thought through all of my objections because like the glorious chairman who swam the Yangtzee River, his shit glows in the dark and is blessed by the mysterious war god Nyaaabrag and his wife Lalala Nicelady, that if I can agree essentially with at least 10 of the 15 points, I will JOIN THE REVOLUTION®! On joining, I will contribute towards its ultimate success via such thoroughly legal means as private and public argumentation, media propagandizing, and electoral politics. I further agree that I shall deny before the FBI or any Senate Subcommittee any knowledge of secret guerrilla training camps in the Swiss Alps, financed by Mohammar Khadaffy, and under the leadership of R.U.'s brother, the Great and Terrible Hassan I Sirius, who utilizes a technique involving tantric masturbation to hard-core pornography while high on DMT to brainwash a group of ecstatic warrior-assassins who are ready and waiting to seize power By Any Means Necessary should The Revolution® by legitimate means fail, for this is all rumor and innuendo and completely untrue.

Therefore I, Your Name Here, do solemnly swear that Sirius would have charmed the pants off me with this crazy blather were I wearing any, and thus, naked as a jaybird and only mildly intoxicated on Plum Wine or perhaps not at all, I agree to this Post-Modern Social Contract or alternatively perhaps; I, Your Name Here, actually find Mr. Sirius quite irritating, but having skipped ahead and having read his 15 Point Program for The Revolution® I find myself agreeing with most of it, so I'll sign this Post-Modern Social Contract and plot to convince the far more amusing; A) Michael Moore B) SubCommandante Marcos C) Sandra Bernhardt D) Paul Krassner to take up the cause as leader of The Revolution® in a grass roots upheaval that leaves Mr. Sirius a broken man. == In any case, consider me a signee of the Post-Modern Social Contract and a member of The Revolution®. I agree to contemplate tithing 5% of my income to The Revolution® if and when they set up tax deductibility, although I'm quite sure that I'll reject that notion... but I'll at least have a look at the offer for a collection of Sirius' 'writing' and may actually even splurge the $25 just to further acquaint myself with this lunatic's gibberish.

This is an extract of The Revolution®, a party policy paper in two parts, to be found at: http://www.disinfo.com

Special thanks to disinformation for the permission to reprint this text.

R.U. Sirius [rusirius@well.com]